Friday, 6 July 2007

Smeaton in Poetry

Got this on email today - have no idea who wrote it. Someone Scottish I would imagine.

Twas doon by the inch o' Abbots
Oor Johnny walked one day
When he saw a sicht that troubled him
Far more that he could say

A fanatic muslim bastard
Wiz doin what he'd planned
And intae Glesca's departure hall
A Cherokee he'd rammed.

A big Glaswegian polis
Came forward tae assist
He thocht "a wumman driver"
Or at least someone half-pissed

But to his shock nae drunken Jock
Emerged to grasp his hand
But a flamin Arab loony
Frae Al Qaeda's band

The mad Islamist nut-case
Had set hissel' on fire
And swung oot at the polis
GBH his clear desire

Now that's no richt wur Johnny cried
And sallied tae the fray
A left hook and a heid butt
Required tae save the day.

Now listen up Bin Laden
Yir sort's nae wanted here
For imported English radicals
Us Scoatsman huv nae fear

Okay, so it's not quite Rabbie Burns...


Anonymous said...

Actually, it's pretty good isn't it. If only we could get rid of the lunatics..

Crystal x

The Good Woman said...

Aye, Crystal.

Annie said...

Love it!, and the aul' 'Heid Butt', also known as 'The Glasgow Kiss' lol!

Motheratlarge said...

Something tells me these characters might not consider themselves 'English' either! Apart from the dig at women drivers - how dare the writer! - I really enjoyed this.

lady macleod said...

yes, I would imagine.

Katie said...

LOVE IT. I had to read it twice to understand it though - understanding spoking Scottish is one thing, but reading it is quite another.

Gwen said...

I loved this. Absolutely Excellent.

The Good Woman said...

Glad to have raised a few chuckles!

Off to Sunderland to buy a car (definitely a post about that on the way).

Surviving Motherhood said...

What a great poem! I recommended a few people I know would appreciate come over and take a look.

Misssy M said...

I love that...and I would like to think that if Rabbie Burns were alive and writing today, that he would have written something very similar

The Good Woman said...

Thanks for the recommends Surviving Motherhood. I actually feel a bit like I'm stealing someone's glow - considering I didn't actaully write this gem!

Hi Misssy M. I'm hoping for a trip down Ayr way later this week - I'll see if I can get this displayed at the monument. And have a good break, by the way!

Kate said...

That was priceless - loved it!
I watched a documentary about 'Smeato' the other night and he comes across as being very 'down to earth and normal'
and a really nice guy, It was
good to see that all the Congrats and praise heaped on him has not
changed him. Cheers from Kate in Scotland xxx.