Monday, 14 May 2007

Dance of the dust bunnies

Before the Good Man left for South Africa he broke the vacuum cleaner. Let's not digress into the division of labour in our Good Home. Suffice to say, he won't touch a toilet brush. The vacuum is the price he pays.

He yanked it to the far side of the lounge straining the plug to breaking point, and, what do you know? It broke. He found a screwdriver, poked about a bit, it still didn't work. So he left the continent.

That was a Thursday. By Sunday, the party started. The strands of hair began a tete-e-tete with the radiator dust. They flirted a bit, got past first base and by Tuesday they were the proud parents of a burgeoning brood of dust bunnies. I looked at the vacuum cleaner. I stared at the screwdriver. I saw a future where I would vacuum and clean the loo. I scooped up Bambi and took her to visit friends.

By Thursday Bambi thought they were looking hungry and fed them some of her vegetables - escape-peas we like to call them. On Friday morning we gave them names. And on Friday afternoon the Good Man returned.

'So you didn't fix the vacuum cleaner then?' he said on meeting Flopsy and Flo at the door.

On Saturday morning I woke to a newly repaired vacuum cleaner whining its way through the downstairs of our house. Bambi was helping her Dad. I could hear her vacuum cleaner too. It's pink, has Barney on it and sings.

Clean up, clean up
Everybody, everywhere
Clean up, clean up
Everybody do your share!


Kaycie said...

My little girl is 16 and she still sings that song when I press the little angel and her brothers into domestic service!

Drunk Mummy said...

I love the description of the escape-peas, we have lots of those on the kitchen floor. If you leave them there for a while, they harden, and the kids can use them as marbles.

Annie said...

Love it - my daughter sings that song but skips a few words and so she sings 'clean up a body'!

Isn't it nice to have a husband who shares the load? Mine is a much better housekeeper than I, a fact I enjoy tremendously and for which I'm very grateful.

lady macleod said...

Brilliant! You smart woman! I would never have been able to hold out. Well done! and funny stuff. I have an ill child today (not for publication!) so I needed the laughs.

Really good tale.

The Good Woman said...

K - please no! I don't think I can handle 16 years of Barney!!

DM - we've used them as beads and as Brabie tennis balls. But marbles, now there's an idea.

A - I'm hoping your one means that as a bathing ritual rather than a dispose-of-the-evidence one!

LM - Always happy of you are. Hope Q gets well soon. Oh, and I wondered if your kitten would like to play with my bunnies some time?

jenny said...

Let's have a play-date for our dust bunnies!

I just swept the floor in the living room yesterday and I tell the girls if they dont pick up their toys, they will be swept up, too. It is amazing how quickly they get up to rescue Barbies and blocks from certain death. I will call while I sweep, "Bye-bye barbie's shoe...bye-bye marble (or is that a pea?)... bye-bye sippy cup..." In no time at all, I have a spotless floor. The challenge now, is to keep it that way! I find if I sweep before their bedtime, I can enjoy walking around without stepping on something for at least until morning.

lady macleod said...

I was over at Expat Women wandering about, and I see you "joined up". I found a site from Egypt with wonderful descriptions and photographs you might wish to check it out. Isn't the name fabulous?

I would love to have tea, but sweet lady you can keep your dust bunnies at home. When she was wee my daughter's name for me was Mrs. Tiddlemouse. Enough said?

Stay at home dad said...

Very cute... and don't let him get away with a thing!


doodaddy said...

Would you mind horribly if I ask what sort of vacuum cleaner? I'm a bit of a vacuum cleaner fanatic... we've got four of 'em (if you include the robot), plus a manual "carpet sweeper" and a "Swiffer."

Sorry, I know. Like I said, I'm a little obsessed.


P.S. I thought y'all called 'em "hoovers"...

The Good Woman said...

Hi Jenny - Bambi's a bit quick for me - as fast as I clear her clutter, she creates more.

Oh dear Lady M, I wish I could promise you a spotless home but, until back in Africa, where I may well have someone to help, I must confess to having a very 'it will do' attitude to the whole thing.

SAHD - he won't!

And Doodaddy - the one that works is a singer. The one that sings is a Mattel!

Gwen said...

What an excellent post. My Hoover (yes I still use that word although it isn't) works perfectly but rarely gets pressed into service. What I need to do is find a man who will lovingly respond to the call of housework as I never seem to have a spare moment. One of these days I will get the hoover out and the house won't know what has hit it.

Reluctant Memsahib said...

Hello - love this. made me laugh out loud. We aren't very good on domestic appliances where I live - no point with appalling power. Consequently kids are sometimes a little unwise as to limitations/dangers of electrical gadgets; Amelia once put a sheet of paper into toaster 'to see what would happen'. I could have told her had she asked: it'll go up in flames and Mum will shout and swear. Still, experience sometimes best way for anybody to learn I guess?